The reason

I am late coming to the blogging world. I do not even know my real reason for starting this blog, this public journal, this first hand look into my overcrowded and under rested brain. I do know that I have a lot going on in here, and so little is shared with adults.

I have started putting a y on the end of random words. Like drinky. Do you need a drinky? Or snacky. The other day I found myself saying to my daughter that we needed a little snacky poo. Sleepy. Wakey. Wakey wakey shakey shakey says momma! This is a side effect of being a parent, I think. Or I could be wrong and I am just crazy walking around asking a store clerk if they sold any of that cleany stuff.

This is most likely the reason for me needing to share my thoughts with the outside world. I have so many. Sometimes I think all women have this many. Maybe thats why guys think we are crazy. My mind never shuts off. Like when i lay down for a nap (or nappy poo as it usually goes) i put my head on the pillow and enjoy a nice quiet moment of comfort and smelly good linens and joy. And then it happens. It always happens. The thoughts leak in. Thoughts like, I wonder what the chicken tonight will taste like, and will kiks run through the room when I am sauteing and everything will burn? Do I really need a new sweater when I go to target tomorrow or do i just THINK I need a new sweater? I wonder what he is doing at work and if he is thinking of me. If he is thinking of me i wonder if he remembers to bring over the bed rails i asked him for last week and if so when are we going to put the bed together? Where should we put the bed? ahhh bed its so comfy and smelly good. But the carpet kind of smells. I should make a plan to clean it next week when the kids are with their dad. What should I pack for them? Will the clothes I pack come back dirty or will he wash them for once? I should have put that load into the washer before I laid down.

On and on and on this goes. And then I see Tim when he lies down. ooooohhhh when tim lies down. I am so jealous. This is how it goes. He puts his phone on the night stand. He crawls into bed. He wraps his arm around me. He adjusts his pillow. 2.1 seconds later, he is snoring.

HOW DOES HE DO IT?

Well anyway. So I need to share my thoughts. So here is where I begin.

Tim and I have decided we are going to work out. I know, I know that is what everyone decides at the beginning of the new year. And I also know not many people follow through and actually lose the weight. So to sum it up I am already starting my goal by quitting my goal because there is so much negativity involved.

But I am a positive person! I tell myself this. So Ok, in being positive, I decide to look for a gym. A gym for both of us. A gym that is open 24/7 and has a daycare, or playroom, for my kids. A gym that has a pool, classes for me, weights for him, and not a lot of people to stare at my jiggly butt while I work out.

It doesn't exist. So i look for the next best thing. a gym open 24/7 that has a playroom. Ok found one. 51 dollars a month??!!! Why is it so expensive? I break it down....ok a dollar sixty seven a day. hmm...thats not so bad! ok well if i only go four times a week...lets see...ok thats 2.94 a day. still not bad. 11.79 a week, thats less than a tank of gas. But then i panic...what if i dont go at all? What if this is a complete and utter failure and I am now wasting 51 dollars a month? What else could I do with 51 dollars a month? Well, I could buy the sweater that I think I dont need. ok Nikki, you are freaking for no reason. You will use the membership, you are determined to lose the weight. And so is Tim. Ok. Found a gym.

Now I actually have to go. And they don't explain to you that this is the truly terrifying part. I have to actually go to the gym and have other people around while I bend and stretch and jiggle and do everything wrong. And not just people. PRETTY people. How does anyone get over that fear?

So I have been putting it off. I think I need new workout clothes before I can go. And shoes. And a new work out bag. Ok...so now i have invested 51 dollars a month, 200 on new workout gear, totally cute workout gear by the way, and I am STILL afraid of the pretty people.

I close this rant session wondering if anyone else is afraid of the pretty people. And if anyone else puts a y on the end of words. And if any of the pretty people could possibly be the kind of people that put a y on the end of random words. Could I be one of these people? hmm....